Rocky Mountains

My husband's parents divorced when he was in the first grade. From what I understand his Dad was a school administrator and his Mom was a teacher. His Dad was cheating with his Secretary that his Mom often confided in at times. After the divorce Dad and secretary got married and have been together ever since. Mom remarried a former pastor from church and have been together ever since and even added a son to the brood.

Plenty of drama around custody lasted for years and as a result the boys (my husband is a twin) spent their life mainly with Mom. Every time the boys would leave for their 6 weeks in the Summer with Dad, Mom would cry. Boys hate to see their Mom cry. And so began the manipulation.

As they grew up the challenge to navigate everyone's needs became part of life. Because they spent most of their time with Mom, her feelings were projected onto and into them in many ways and their relationship with Dad was impacted. Often this parlays into rebellion and fights with Dad, but not for them. Instead it manifested into a strange distance between Father and sons.

To me the relationship with their Dad appears kind of awkward and uncomfortable.

Over our marriage both sets of parents have been supportive and kind to us. Both have helped us and cared for us. Both sets are "Christian" and like all of us, do their best to be the people God wants them to be. But their efforts are cloaked with messages of either "I'm a victim - take my side" or "It's her fault because she is so controlling and she gives us no grace or peace." Bitterness is as clear as day to me. And most times when we see them some manifestation of these messages come through in dialog.

Our recent trip to Colorado was no different, but this time it hit a nerve in MY marriage.

While doing my best to find peace in our 4-day "vacation" with Father in law and Step-Mother In-Law in Colorado, I was presented with the traditional dissertation about why my Mother In- Law is evil. Let's give them names. Father-In-Law will be Earl, Step, Mother-In-Law will be Shannon, Mother, In-Law will be Maggie and Step, Father-In-Law will be Dave.

I am going to stop now and write more later on the events later. My love and I decided we need to pray and talk some, first.